Half Hour Post: Why I Don't Eat Office Donuts

It shouldn't be difficult to figure out, once you get a gander at THIS nonsense.

First of all, who wants a chocolate-coated donut when they've clearly been fondled by dozens of coworkers?




And then. AND THEN! See the one on the top right there? THAT particular confection looks as if rabid squirrels nibbled around the edges for a half hour or so, before tiring of the tedium and tossing it back in the box for the next hapless noob to nosh. (This reminds me of the people that "only want half a donut" and proceed to scare up the saddest, dullest utensil ever invented to butcher the wayward pastry, usually while licking their fingers, and leaving a pathetic, wrung-out donut remnant behind that NO ONE will touch, and which ALWAYS gets tossed in the trash.)

G to the R to the O D Y.